Archive for July, 2009

my extended chastity

July 28, 2009

It has been nearly a week since Ms Lee denied my request for permission to cum with this message:

boy, Ha.  Ha-ha-ha-hah!  Of course you may not cum.  If you ask again, I will extend your chastity period well beyond what you would deem comfortable..

–> Ms Lee

i don’t dare ask again becuase i don’t want to find out what my Goddess considers ‘well beyond comfortable’.  She has not even raised the topic since then and seems to be content with leaving me to adhere quietly to Her decision.

It is now 27 days since Ms Lee last allowed me to cum.  i have absolutely no idea how long She intends to extend my current chastity period, but i consider this an opportunity to demonstrate my devotion to Her.

i am so desperate for relief that it is almost painful. my balls are swollen from the built up pressure and my cock is constantly getting hard. Unfortunately for my cock, Ms Lee requires me to wear a very snug cock ring for several hours each morning. During this period my cock is ruthlessly prevented from achieving a full erection by the vicious bite of Her ring.

Of course my pigmale desire to cum is inconsequential. The only thing i desire is to be allowed to continue to be Ms Lee’s faithful boy. She is my Goddess and i belong to Her.

Permission Denied!

July 22, 2009

It has been three weeks since Ms Lee last gave me permission to cum and i have been getting more desperate by the day.  The pressure is building up in my balls so badly that i am having constant erections at the most inconvenient times. Before i met Ms Lee i was a compulsive masturbator, sometimes jacking off multiple times in a single day. It is unbeleivably hard for me to go this long without cumming, but i am at the mercy of my Goddess.

i am not allowed to cum unless i ask permission. i have been reluctant to ask Ms Lee for permission these last few weeks because i know She expects me to demonstrate some self control. Finally i couldn’t resist my pigmale need to ejaculate any longer and yesterday i humbly asked Ms Lee for permission to cum. i was on pins and needles waiting for Her response, hopeful that my three weeks of abstinence would be deemed sufficient.

This morning i read Ms Lee’s response to my plea:

boy, Ha.  Ha-ha-ha-hah!  Of course you may not cum.  If you ask again, I will extend your chastity period well beyond what you would deem comfortable..

–> Ms Lee

i had to read this a few times to be sure my eyes were not deceiving me. Not only have i been denied permission to cum, but i’m not even allowed to ask again!

i do not know for sure why my Goddess has denied me permission to cum and She has given me no hints. i’m sure She has Her reasons and hopefully i will find out soon! Meanwhile, my first priority and concern is for Ms Lee’s pleasure. If it is her pleasure that my chastity period be extended, then i will oblidge without reservation and consider my chastity a gift to Her.

A most severe punishment from Ms Lee

July 16, 2009

Since i started this blog, i have been subjected to a very severe punishment by my Goddess. i earned this punishment by violating Her Rule that i am to wear my panties to work once per week, without exception. Believe it or not, i forgot to do so the very first week the Rule was in effect.

There was a reason for my oversight and i could have attempted to ask forgiveness based on that reason, but that didn’t matter. i knew better than to even try to make an excuse for my unforgivable infraction. Instead i did the only thing i could and i begged Ms Lee to provide me with a suitable punishment.

As usual, Ms Lee completely blind-sided me.  She always keeps me off balance and scrambling to keep up with Her. It turns out that Her punishment was to cut off contact with me. Conveniently for Her, she had just informed that She would be out of contact for a few days. Thus i didn’t realize that my punishment was in effect as the days dragged on without hearing from my Goddess.

i began to panic as Her absence approached a week. i was worried that something bad had happened to Her. Fortunately it finally occurred to check Her blog for activity. When i saw recent entries i was relieved to see that She was ok, but devastated because i also realized that meant She was intentionally ignoring me.

i was hurt and depressed as i tried to understand why She was doing this to me. It occurred to me that She might be punishing me for my infraction of the Panty Rule, but i didn’t understand why She wouldn’t inform me before cutting off contact. i realize now that the uncertainty was part of the punishment. i also realize that Ms Lee wanted me to figure that out on my own. She is constantly pushing me to think harder, to learn and to understand the reasons for things. This intellectual approach is one of the reasons why i Worship Her so much.

Ms Lee recently reestablished contact with me. i learned a lot from Her punishment. First and foremost, i have been trained to never overlook one of Her rules again. This punishment was very bad and i suffered dearly from Her unexplained absence. i am very dependent on Her, more than i understood before this. i also felt very bad because deep down i knew i had done something to hurt Her and i never want to do that again. i want Her to be proud of me as a good slave that is trying very hard to improve.

Preparing my rear for Ms Lee

July 11, 2009

my Goddess has recently commanded me to prepare my rear for Her. She has informed me that i will beg Her to take me with Her strap-on, but first i must prepare myself. i must work diligently to make sure that my rear is opened sufficiently to take the large strap-on that She will take me with.

Ms Lee told me to purchase a butt plug and use it every day when i Worship Her. She instructed me to insert the plug and to then put on Her cock ring. Once Her boy is properly plugged and harnessed, i am then to put on the pretty pink panties She had me purchase for my Worship sessions.

In a pitiful attempt to please my Goddess, i foolishly purchased a fairly large butt plug. At the widest point it is nearly two inches across. i experienced a significant amount of pain and agony before i was able to stretch my rear enough to accommodate this huge intruder. i still have to spend a few minutes each morning prior to my Worship session struggling to get my plug in place.

In order to get my plug in each morning, i have to ride up and down on the plug numerous times. Each time i descend a little further as my rear stretches a bit more. It is very painful as i reach the bottom of my ride and attempt to stretch my rear enough to fit the monster inside. However, i just think about my Goddess being on the other end of the plug and it readily slides in a bit more.

When i am finally properly fitted with my plug i begin my 20 minute Worship session. During this time i am to continuously push against the plug, working it into me as i exercise to open myself up for my Goddess. i find this quite painful and i sincerely hope that Ms Lee accepts this offering of devotion from me.

Permission to cum

July 5, 2009

Last week my glorious Goddess granted me permission to cum. This was a very generous gift that was much appreciated. my appreciation was heightened by the fact that i hadn’t ejaculated for over a month when She finally decided to permit me this rare pleasure.

Of course i had to enjoy this gift while still adhering to Ms Lee’s Expectations concerning my cock and cumming:

1) i am never allowed to touch myself in any manner that could be considered sexual in nature. So much for jacking myself off! However, after going for a month without cumming, i found that it was indeed possible to ejaculate without touching myself.

2) i am only permitted to cum when Ms Lee grants me permission to do so.

3) i am only allowed to cum while worshiping Ms Lee. my Worship sessions involve a series of Rules and Expectations which i will elaborate on at a later time.

4) i must be wearing my cock ring during Worship. my cock ring bites deeply into my poor cock when it is fully erect, making ejaculation even more of a challenge.

Once i was in compliance with all of Ms Lee’s Rules and Expectations. i was allowed to attempt to cum while worshiping Her. It takes quite a while to get myself excited enough to cum under these severe restrictions. However, with a month’s worth of pressure built up in my balls i was finally able to acheive my goal and i began to cum

This was when i realized the full extent of Ms Lee’s control over my / Her cock. Without being allowed to touch myself, i was not able to produce a forceful ejaculation like a real man. Instead i only experienced a frustrating dribbling of cum, which did not provide me with anywhere near the pleasure that normal masturbation brings.

my pathetic dribble was further restricted by my cruel cock ring which really started to bite when my cock attempted to expand while ejaculating.  The severe pain this created succeeded in eliminating what little pleasure i was beginning to experience.

When the dribbling ended i was required by Ms Lee’s Rules to lick up the mess i had made, completing my humiliation. i then thanked my Goddess for Her gift and prayed for Her forgiveness since i had shown myself to be such a pathetic pigmale.

Would anyone care to guess how long it will be before my Goddess grants me permission to cum again?

Understanding Why

July 5, 2009

Ms Lee is not satisfied with owning me. She also wants me to understand why She owns me. Whenever Ms Lee gives me a new Rule or Expectation, She strives to help me understand why She is giving me this command and how it will help me.

i have learned that Ms Lee is a very deep thinker, like a master chess player. And i am surely one of her pawns (i’m certainly not Her ‘Knight in shining armor’, that would require being a real man. i am merely Her boy).

Ms Lee’s cock

July 5, 2009

my cock is owned by Ms Lee. It is that simple. As my Goddess, She is in charge of my sexual life and activities.

One of Ms Lee’s first Expectations was that i was never to touch myself in a manner that could be considered sexual in nature without Her permission. When She first informed me of this Expectation i didn’t take her seriously. i thought i could play along for a few days and She would then relent and give me permission to masturbate by hand just as i always had.

i was WRONG….

Wearing Ms Lee’s Ring

July 5, 2009

My Goddess requires me to wear Her ring a few hours each day.  As Her property, i obey Her unfailingly, so i have been wearing Her ring every day since She informed me of this expectation.

No problem you say? Well, it is when the ring in question goes around the base of my cock! Unfortunately for me, Her ring is smaller in diameter than my cock is when erect. i must wear it at the base of my cock and i hardly notice it when i am flacid. But as soon as i begin to get an erection, Her ring takes control. It begins to bite into my poor cock which actually begins to turn blue from the severe constriction if i don’t find a way to return to flacidity.

Wearing this ring every day has begun to change me. Although it allows me to achieve a full hard-on, i must pay a very painful price. This takes the fun out of erections and changes my attitude about them. Instead of being able to enjoy erections like a real man, Her ring bites me and reminds me that i am Her property.

i’m not sure if Ms Lee knew the effect that wearing Her ring would have on me, but She usually knows much more than i suspect. i am usually scrambling a few steps behind Her, trying to keep up with Her demanding pace and never knowing what devious twist She will come up with next. While i am still trying to satisfy Her previous demands and coming to understand all their implications, She is already planning my next demonstration of devotion.