In my previous blog entry (https://propertyofmslee.wordpress.com/2016/12/20/permission-revoked/ ) I mentioned how Ms Lee instructed me to change my focus to service oriented things instead of dwelling on the frustration I was enduring as a result of my extended period of chastity. I have found that keeping my focus oriented on service has helped immensely. I am discovering that when I am hard at work on service tasks such as hand washing Ms Lee’s panties or cleaning about the house that I become calm with a feeling of contentment. When I dwell on my unrelenting chastity I get frustrated and distracted, unable to satisfy my pigmale urges. I am happier and feel more fulfilled when I am hard at work, toiling on my chores.
I have now begun my third month of chastity for the pleasure of Ms Lee and I have no idea how much longer it will be before it suits her whim to allow me any sort of release. In the past, when it pleased Ms Lee to have me endure such long periods of chastity I would go crazy with desperation and pester her with my frustration. But now when the frustration begins to build I follow Ms Lee’s advice and turn my focus to service oriented things. I get myself busy doing laundry, washing dishes and cleaning about the house. Before long I find myself fully focused on my task at hand and my frustration is forgotten.
Under Ms Lee’s tutelage I have gradually come to a more complete understanding concerning my role and destiny as a service oriented submissive. Long ago I had fantasied about being a stereotypical sissy maid and at the time my motivation was much more about satisfying my own fantasies. Ms Lee has never catered to my pigmale fantasies but she did seem to appreciate the idea of having me serve her and perform household tasks for her. I have developed an intense, ingrained need to please Ms Lee so my focus gradually changed from fantasizing about being a sissy maid to the more useful concept of pleasing Ms Lee with my service. And by service I mean non-sexual services such as doing laundry and cleaning about the home. Ms Lee certainly enjoys being sexually pleasured and serviced but I think she would be perfectly satisfied with me even if I performed nothing but non-sexual services for her. She has plenty of alpha men and slaves that are better skilled at sexually pleasing her but I think with sufficient training and devotion I could possibly become the optimum service oriented submissive for her.
Over time I have learned more about service and have posted a number of blog entries about pleasing Ms Lee with my service, including my Service Skills and Research section. A little over a year ago Ms Lee helped me understand that Service Oriented Submission was my natural role. This was a major revelation for me, helping me to understand my life long obsession with submission and enabling me to embrace my proper role. More recently, one of my Christmas gifts from Ms Lee was the book “The Butler Speaks“. It is an excellent book about proper butler etiquette and skills and I am finding it quite useful. I have only just begun to read it but I look forward to studying it with the intensity I put into graduate level courses at college.
While I have been learning quite a bit about Service Oriented Submission it has only been during my current extended chastity period that I have truly realized what it does for me, personally. While my primary interest and destiny is focused on pleasing Ms Lee it is appropriate and ideal that being a service oriented submissive has intrinsic benefits for me also. I will be a much better submissive, and a happier one, as a result.
The first benefit to me, as mentioned above, is to relieve my frustration by focusing on service oriented things. It is quite obvious that extreme long term chastity for me pleases Ms Lee so I need to learn how to adjust to the reality of a chaste life. If I remained focused on my frustration I would not be happy with my lot and would not be properly motivated to fulfill my role as a service oriented submissive. I am learning how to channel my frustration in a positive manner, harnessing the energy of denial to function better in my service role.
The second benefit of learning about being a service oriented submissive is that I am learning how to be a good, useful submissive. If I pursued my fantasy of being a sissy maid I would not please my dominant (in my case, Ms Lee), nor would I please myself since I would be pursuing an unrealistic objective.
The third benefit to me is that I am learning how to enjoy being a service oriented submissive. I mentioned earlier in this post that when I am performing a service oriented task I find myself feeling content and fulfilled. In an almost zen like manner, the more focused I become on my service, the more content and serene I feel. I have been excited to find that this benefit also applies to tasks I do that are not in the direct service of Ms Lee. Even when I am doing my own laundry or other personal tasks I am finding myself more content and focused on my work. I am learning that being a service oriented sub is my natural role. It fits me and it makes me feel complete.