Ms Lee Considers Marriage

Recently Ms Lee has informed me that if someday she were to marry a lucky man my own status would not change. I would still be her property and I would still be required to serve as her personal servant and butler. As her servant I would be responsible for providing her with massages and pedicures, attending to her when she was dressing or bathing and also providing sexual service in whatever manner she required. She also informed me that I would be responsible for recruiting other subs or bulls or even couples for her and her husband to play with. With all these real men at her disposal I suspect that my deprived penis would remain securely locked in chastity whenever I was lucky enough to be allowed to sexually service her (She did inform me that my penis would be in locked chastity at all times).

I have been having a difficult time wrapping my head around the implications of all this. I absolutely support the idea of Ms Lee being happily married, hopefully to a well endowed alpha male who could sexually please her like a real man (something I know I am incapable of doing). But even though Ms Lee has told me I would not have to service her husband sexually I still struggle with the idea that I have to serve him in non-sexual ways. Obviously he would be my superior and I would have to get used to the idea that I would be his servant also, taking care of all domestic matters for him as well as anything else he required that did not involve sexual service.

I find the idea of being the butler and servant of a man who is free to enjoy Ms Lee’s affections in every way quite intimidating. The thought of being required to perform menial tasks for him such as shining his shoes seems very demeaning. Supported with my fantasies about being a sissy maid, it is easy to imagine being Ms Lee’s servant, toiling for her pleasure. But it is a very different matter to consider doing so for another man. I have no homosexual tendencies so I am in no way attracted to other men or turned on by thoughts of serving them. The concept of being required to serve Ms Lee’s husband rips open the reality of my submission to Ms Lee, forcing me to face the raw consequences of willingly being an indentured servant.

The more I think about the implications of being the servant to Ms Lee and her husband the more challenging I find the concept. For instance, with a happily married couple in the house I suspect I would spend a sizable portion of my time toiling alone, working hard to keep up with a busy household with two masters to serve. Keeping Ms Lee satisfied and taking care of all her domestic matters would be challenging enough, but with a real man in the house to also serve I would have to work twice as hard to keep up with everything. I would also have two sets of eyes watching out for any failings on my part so I would have to work harder yet to make sure my services were satisfactory. And instead of being Ms Lee’s sole source of interaction and company I would just be the servant in the background, constantly working hard in the hope that she might briefly turn her attention away from her husband and notice my desperate devotion.

Then last night as I was looking out at the snow I was thinking how nice it would be to curl up with Ms Lee by the fireplace. But it occurred to me that if she were married she would probably more often be curling up with her husband and not me. They would be in love with each other so it would only be natural that romantic events like that would involve the two of them. In a situation like that I’m not sure if it would be harder for me to be excluded or if it would be more difficult to be involved, but as the servant to the two of them. Ms Lee assures me that she would continue to provide me with affection and personal contact. I find this very reassuring but I can’t stop thinking that her affection for me would become more like that one would bestow upon their favorite dog. Her true love would be her real man and husband while I would constantly be begging just to be noticed and hoping that she might rub my head.

All of this just really hammers home the point that I am really nothing other than Ms Lee’s property, required to do whatever she desires. I find this all quite disturbing and the only way I can find to manage it is to remind myself that my responsibility is to always focus on nothing but Ms Lee’s pleasure and satisfaction, with no regard for my own pigmale desires. Our relationship is based on her happiness and satisfaction, enhanced by my willing submission to her and my sacrifices for her pleasure. I must firmly push all thoughts of self gratification out of my mind as they only distract me from my higher purpose in life – Ms Lee’s happiness. I have to acknowledge that this is what I truly desire out of life and I am truly grateful that Ms Lee would consider keeping me as her property in the happy event of her marriage.

My Awesome Christmas presents from Ms Lee

For Christmas this year I bought Ms Lee a wonderful spa package so she could indulge in being properly pampered and massaged. For myself, I humbly asked her if I could indulge in my ever growing fetish for pretty lingerie and buy myself a nice babydoll nightie. I told her I would never be so bold as to ask for anything so naughty as being allowed to touch myself or masturbate, but I desperately hoped that once a year she might allow me to pursue my own sexual pleasure in an acceptable manner. I was thrilled when she agreed to let me purchase a nightie. I presented some choices to her and interestingly enough she selected the purple babydoll that was my favorite among the selections.

Ms Lee also surprised me by allowing me to not only wear my babydoll nightie on Christmas Eve and day, but she also gave me permission to enjoy all the pleasurable releases I desired on Christmas. This was an incredibly generous gift from Ms Lee since she very rarely allows me such sexual freedom. I frequently go multiple months without being allowed a release at all and when it does suite her whim to allow me a release I am usually given a small window of time to enjoy it. And even when she does allow me a release it might amuse her to insist that it be a ruined release so that my sexual pleasure is minimized. This might seem harsh, but I have been trained to treasure the rare releases she allows me, in whatever manner pleases Ms Lee most. The strict regime of chastity I endure has bound me quite closely to her, something we both appreciate, and I am thankful that it pleases Me Lee to keep me as her property. Ms Lee also instructed me that I am to always wear my new babydoll nightie whenever she allows me a release. That will certainly insure that I will not feel very manly on those rare occasions when I enjoy a release.

I have included a photo of me wearing my new babydoll nightie. I am embarrassed to admit that I took the time and effort to learn how to properly iron my babydoll since it was wrinkled when it arrived. I have added a link on How to properly iron lingerie to the Service Skills section of my blog since this is a skill that I will need to master.

I am quite excited about the new year and I am looking forward to working extra hard for the pleasure of Ms Lee. She has been very generous and patient with me and I desperately want to demonstrate my appreciation. I am also quite excited about the lifelong education program I have embarked upon, with the goal of becoming the best possible service submissive devoted to Ms Lee’s pleasure.