Ms Lee Considers Marriage

Recently Ms Lee has informed me that if someday she were to marry a lucky man my own status would not change. I would still be her property and I would still be required to serve as her personal servant and butler. As her servant I would be responsible for providing her with massages and pedicures, attending to her when she was dressing or bathing and also providing sexual service in whatever manner she required. She also informed me that I would be responsible for recruiting other subs or bulls or even couples for her and her husband to play with. With all these real men at her disposal I suspect that my deprived penis would remain securely locked in chastity whenever I was lucky enough to be allowed to sexually service her (She did inform me that my penis would be in locked chastity at all times).

I have been having a difficult time wrapping my head around the implications of all this. I absolutely support the idea of Ms Lee being happily married, hopefully to a well endowed alpha male who could sexually please her like a real man (something I know I am incapable of doing). But even though Ms Lee has told me I would not have to service her husband sexually I still struggle with the idea that I have to serve him in non-sexual ways. Obviously he would be my superior and I would have to get used to the idea that I would be his servant also, taking care of all domestic matters for him as well as anything else he required that did not involve sexual service.

I find the idea of being the butler and servant of a man who is free to enjoy Ms Lee’s affections in every way quite intimidating. The thought of being required to perform menial tasks for him such as shining his shoes seems very demeaning. Supported with my fantasies about being a sissy maid, it is easy to imagine being Ms Lee’s servant, toiling for her pleasure. But it is a very different matter to consider doing so for another man. I have no homosexual tendencies so I am in no way attracted to other men or turned on by thoughts of serving them. The concept of being required to serve Ms Lee’s husband rips open the reality of my submission to Ms Lee, forcing me to face the raw consequences of willingly being an indentured servant.

The more I think about the implications of being the servant to Ms Lee and her husband the more challenging I find the concept. For instance, with a happily married couple in the house I suspect I would spend a sizable portion of my time toiling alone, working hard to keep up with a busy household with two masters to serve. Keeping Ms Lee satisfied and taking care of all her domestic matters would be challenging enough, but with a real man in the house to also serve I would have to work twice as hard to keep up with everything. I would also have two sets of eyes watching out for any failings on my part so I would have to work harder yet to make sure my services were satisfactory. And instead of being Ms Lee’s sole source of interaction and company I would just be the servant in the background, constantly working hard in the hope that she might briefly turn her attention away from her husband and notice my desperate devotion.

Then last night as I was looking out at the snow I was thinking how nice it would be to curl up with Ms Lee by the fireplace. But it occurred to me that if she were married she would probably more often be curling up with her husband and not me. They would be in love with each other so it would only be natural that romantic events like that would involve the two of them. In a situation like that I’m not sure if it would be harder for me to be excluded or if it would be more difficult to be involved, but as the servant to the two of them. Ms Lee assures me that she would continue to provide me with affection and personal contact. I find this very reassuring but I can’t stop thinking that her affection for me would become more like that one would bestow upon their favorite dog. Her true love would be her real man and husband while I would constantly be begging just to be noticed and hoping that she might rub my head.

All of this just really hammers home the point that I am really nothing other than Ms Lee’s property, required to do whatever she desires. I find this all quite disturbing and the only way I can find to manage it is to remind myself that my responsibility is to always focus on nothing but Ms Lee’s pleasure and satisfaction, with no regard for my own pigmale desires. Our relationship is based on her happiness and satisfaction, enhanced by my willing submission to her and my sacrifices for her pleasure. I must firmly push all thoughts of self gratification out of my mind as they only distract me from my higher purpose in life – Ms Lee’s happiness. I have to acknowledge that this is what I truly desire out of life and I am truly grateful that Ms Lee would consider keeping me as her property in the happy event of her marriage.

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