Archive for the ‘Service Oriented Submission’ Category

Learning about being a service oriented sub and what service does for me

January 4, 2017

In my previous blog entry ( ) I mentioned how Ms Lee instructed me to change my focus to service oriented things instead of dwelling on the frustration I was enduring as a result of my extended period of chastity. I have found that keeping my focus oriented on service has helped immensely. I am discovering that when I am hard at work on service tasks such as hand washing Ms Lee’s panties or cleaning about the house that I become calm with a feeling of contentment. When I dwell on my unrelenting chastity I get frustrated and distracted, unable to satisfy my pigmale urges. I am happier and feel more fulfilled when I am hard at work, toiling on my chores.

I have now begun my third month of chastity for the pleasure of Ms Lee and I have no idea how much longer it will be before it suits her whim to allow me any sort of release. In the past, when it pleased Ms Lee to have me endure such long periods of chastity I would go crazy with desperation and pester her with my frustration. But now when the frustration begins to build I follow Ms Lee’s advice and turn my focus to service oriented things. I get myself busy doing laundry, washing dishes and cleaning about the house. Before long I find myself fully focused on my task at hand and my frustration is forgotten.

Under Ms Lee’s tutelage I have gradually come to a more complete understanding concerning my role and destiny as a service oriented submissive. Long ago I had fantasied about being a stereotypical sissy maid and at the time my motivation was much more about satisfying my own fantasies. Ms Lee has never catered to my pigmale fantasies but she did seem to appreciate the idea of having me serve her and perform household tasks for her. I have developed an intense, ingrained need to please Ms Lee so my focus gradually changed from fantasizing about being a sissy maid to the more useful concept of pleasing Ms Lee with my service. And by service I mean non-sexual services such as doing laundry and cleaning about the home. Ms Lee certainly enjoys being sexually pleasured and serviced but I think she would be perfectly satisfied with me even if I performed nothing but non-sexual services for her. She has plenty of alpha men and slaves that are better skilled at sexually pleasing her but I think with sufficient training and devotion I could possibly become the optimum service oriented submissive for her.

Over time I have learned more about service and have posted a number of blog entries about pleasing Ms Lee with my service, including my Service Skills and Research section. A little over a year ago Ms Lee helped me understand that Service Oriented Submission was my natural role. This was a major revelation for me, helping me to understand my life long obsession with submission and enabling me to embrace my proper role. More recently, one of my Christmas gifts from Ms Lee was the book “The Butler Speaks“. It is an excellent book about proper butler etiquette and skills and I am finding it quite useful. I have only just begun to read it but I look forward to studying it with the intensity I put into graduate level courses at college.

While I have been learning quite a bit about Service Oriented Submission it has only been during my current extended chastity period that I have truly realized what it does for me, personally. While my primary interest and destiny is focused on pleasing Ms Lee it is appropriate and ideal that being a service oriented submissive has intrinsic benefits for me also. I will be a much better submissive, and a happier one, as a result.

The first benefit to me, as mentioned above, is to relieve my frustration by focusing on service oriented things. It is quite obvious that extreme long term chastity for me pleases Ms Lee so I need to learn how to adjust to the reality of a chaste life. If I remained focused on my frustration I would not be happy with my lot and would not be properly motivated to fulfill my role as a service oriented submissive. I am learning how to channel my frustration in a positive manner, harnessing the energy of denial to function better in my service role.

The second benefit of learning about being a service oriented submissive is that I am learning how to be a good, useful submissive. If I pursued my fantasy of being a sissy maid I would not please my dominant (in my case, Ms Lee), nor would I please myself since I would be pursuing an unrealistic objective.

The third benefit to me is that I am learning how to enjoy being a service oriented submissive. I mentioned earlier in this post that when I am performing a service oriented task I find myself feeling content and fulfilled. In an almost zen like manner, the more focused I become on my service, the more content and serene I feel. I have been excited to find that this benefit also applies to tasks I do that are not in the direct service of Ms Lee. Even when I am doing my own laundry or other personal tasks I am finding myself more content and focused on my work. I am learning that being a service oriented sub is my natural role. It fits me and it makes me feel complete.



Permission Revoked

December 20, 2016

For a good portion of this year Ms Lee has been generous enough to allow me to masturbate once per month at a time of my choosing. I was very grateful to her for this but was always aware that she could end my monthly fun at any time. Recently she did just that, telling me that I was once again to be in chastity and not to touch myself in a sexual way without her permission.

Unfortunately I failed to understand her clear instruction to be in chastity and mistakenly assumed that I did not need to resume wearing my chastity sleeve. When Ms Lee became aware of my failure to adhere to her explicit expectations she was understandably upset with me. As a result of my failure she is requiring me to wear my chastity sleeve 24 hours a day with the only exception being when I shower.

Previously whenever I wore my chastity sleeve 24 hours a day it would soon wind up bruised and battered as my deprived penis strained against the implacable chastity chains in a futile attempt to enjoy an erection. This time was no different and soon my penis was suffering from a number of bruises and cuts. Here is a photo showing a couple of scabs on my penis that resulted from the damage it suffered:


You might notice in the photo that the fur around my penis has been severely cut back and shaved. This was a result of my needing to trim back my fur so I would not offend Ms Lee with any unsightly hair showing under some new, dainty panties that I purchased to replace some of my worn older ones.

It has now been almost three weeks since Ms Lee required me to begin wearing my chastity sleeve 24×7 and my poor penis is finally beginning to get used to its fate. The scabs are slowly clearing but my penis continues to feel like a squashed and crushed sausage. Frankly it looks like one too. I would never dare disobey Ms Lee’s expectation that I not touch myself sexually without her permission but even if I did I doubt it would be any fun stroking a penis that is covered in scabs and bruises.

When I mentioned my frustration to Ms Lee she told me to change my focus to service oriented things. This made sense as it was pointless to worry about my frustration since I had no control over when I might be allowed to touch myself. As I turned my focus more often to service related things like my chores and housework I found that it made a big difference, keeping my mind off things I shouldn’t worry about. Most importantly I realized that it probably pleased Ms Lee to see me becoming more focused and devoted to my housework.

I have noticed over the last week or two that when I take my chastity sleeve off and shower that my penis no longer gets the slightest bit hard. I used to have to be careful to avoid getting it excited when I washed around it but recently it has ceased to respond to that. Perversely the only time it attempts an erection is when I am putting my chastity sleeve back on after a shower. I think it is a reaction to the realization that my penis is going back into chastity. Here is a photo I took this morning showing the head of my penis straining like mad after the chastity chains were attached, preventing any chance of my penis becoming erect:


Some people might wonder if Ms Lee will allow me a release as a Christmas present. But I think the more appropriate Christmas gift would be if Ms Lee enjoyed having me remain in chastity well into the new year. My own pigmale desires for sexual pleasure are irrelevant but I dearly hope that Ms Lee derives some pleasure or amusement from my unrelenting chastity and frustration. I realize this might seem strange but my extended chastity and inability to experience an erection has further conditioned me to focus solely on Ms Lee’s pleasure and satisfaction.





Return to panty washing

November 11, 2016

Recently Ms Lee informed me that she wanted me to resume hand washing her panties for her. In the past I had spent a considerable amount of time learning how to properly hand wash her panties and even developed an extensive 12 step panty washing process. It involves a lot of time and effort but I would never dare take short cuts when I am privileged to perform a task such as this for her. I am always desperate to please Ms Lee so I am thrilled and thankful that she has chosen to allow me to return to my status as her devoted panty washer.

I have been working very hard to clean her panties perfectly in order to impress her with my devotion and my panty washing skills. I am hopeful that she will be pleased enough to allow me to continue with this special responsibility. I consider it an honor to be allowed to wash the panties that touch her beautiful body and I am aware that I could lose this privilege if I fail to perform at a level that meets her strict standards.

Here is a photo of her panties soaking in the sink after I added Woolite fabric cleaner:


In a future post I will include photos from every step of my 12 step panty washing process and discuss my efforts as Ms Lee’s panty washer in more detail.



Proper Tea Service Layout

March 20, 2016

As part of my continuing education program I have continued my studies of proper tea service. One of the most important aspects of tea service is the proper tea service layout. The proper layout for tea service depends on the type of tea party being served (afternoon, high, low, etc.), the number of people attending and the level of formality. If the tea party just involved a few friends getting together informally the layout would be equally informal. But the tea parties I will be serving will mostly be very formal and I will be expected to observe the highest possible level of standards and protocol. For purposes of this discussion I will assume that we are dealing with a formal afternoon tea party being attended by about a half dozen women. Remember that a high tea party is one that includes dinner being served while an afternoon tea party is focused on the tea service but does include food items such as tasty pastries and dainty sandwiches.

Even the proper type of table being used for the tea party varies depending on the type of party and formality, but I think a round table would be most appropriate for an afternoon tea party with half a dozen guests. It would make it easier for them to interact with each other and enable me to serve them quickly and unobtrusively, being able to quickly move around the table as I wait on everyone. I suspect that I would be very busy scrambling to observe all the formalities and making sure that I provided every one of Ms Lee’s friends with flawless service that she could be proud of. I would want her friends to know that I was a highly trained servant dedicated to her in every way.

I have included a diagram of a formal tea service layout for an afternoon tea. Again, things vary depending on circumstances, but the diagram provides an idea of the general layout and describes the pieces. A plate for food items is placed in the center of the individual settings with the tea cup and saucer to the right. The napkin is placed to the left and the silverware is arranged according to strict rules of etiquette as shown in the diagram. A water glass will be placed on the right behind the tea cup and a dessert plate goes on the left behind the napkin setting. I have also included a photo of a properly laid out tea service so it can be seen just how ornate and attractive a well executed tea service can be.

In addition to the individual place settings, there is a formal tea service tray as well as platters for food, etc that will be placed about the table. There are formalities for how this is done depending on the shape of the table, but for round tables these items are best placed in the center. The tea service tray will have placed on it the tea pot, a pitcher for hot water, a sugar bowl, a creamer for milk and a plate for lemon slices.

There is also a whole world of formalities and etiquette regarding the preparation of the tea itself and all the related items. I will save that for a separate discussion in order to give it the proper focus. I still have a lot yet to learn regarding all this, it is mind boggling just how complex and detailed proper tea service can be. I am determined to become a well practiced expert at serving tea parties because I know how important this is to Ms Lee.

Butler and Tea Service

February 10, 2016

As a follow up to my research on Service Oriented Submission Ms Lee directed me to study Butler and Tea service. Most of the information I was able to find on butler service focused on formal English butlers which was appropriate since formal tea service is also frequently associated with the English. Once again I was astonished at how much detail and specialization was involved. It is apparent that a good deal of study and training would be involved in order to become properly proficient at Butler and Tea service. Combined with studying how to provide professional quality massages and pedicures along with learning how to cook, clean, sew and perform housework at the level expected of a 1950’s style housewife I expect my studies will require a level of effort similar to that I devoted to obtaining my master’s degree. And not just for a few years, but for the rest of my life.

I was curious why Ms Lee did not suggest that I study formal maid service since I have frequently fantasized about being a sissy french maid in her service. As I studied formal butler service I found it quite embarrassing to face the concept that a successful professional such as myself with a masters degree would willingly serve as a menial butler, having to adhere to strict protocols and toil endlessly all day long. Fantasizing about being a sissy french maid provided me with a perverted sexual thrill that made it easy and in fact pleasing to think about. However, contemplating being a formal male butler removed the thrill of the fantasy for me and forced me to focus on the service I was to provide to Ms Lee. I had to think about the benefits and pleasure I would be providing to Ms Lee which is the whole point of my devotion to her. I should not be concerned about what I might be getting out of my service, in fact that would only distract me from providing the flawless service that is required from me. During the course of my research I came across a blog by a lifestyle mistress who wanted a butler submissive instead of a sissy maid for the exact same reason.

Recently the number of people who desire to have butlers has increased greatly. In the early to mid 20th century the employment of formal english type butlers had decreased dramatically but during the past few decades their numbers have increased once again as the number of millionaires and billionaires increased markedly. In larger households the butler holds the formal position of head of all the household servants but in smaller households he may be the sole servant. In either case the butler is responsible for being knowledgeable of high social etiquette and protocol regarding every facet of household care and personal service.

I was fascinated to learn that there are a number of world class butler schools in existence such as The British Butler Guild, the Butler Bureau, the British Butler Institute and the Bespoke Bureau. These schools provide training in all areas of butler service including British Etiquette & Accent, Service & Table Management, Silver Service, Housekeeping, Mixology, Professional Cooking, Pastry Chef, Laundry Care, Valet Service, Chauffeur, Flower Design and Gardening, Coffee (and of course Tea!) Service, Shoe Care, Concierge Lifestyle Management and many other special skills required to be a full service servant.

Being a professional butler clearly requires a graduate school level of training and many butlers earn a commensurate salary. They become invaluable members of the household which would collapse without their skills and knowledge. Of course as the Property of Ms Lee I will not be receiving any monetary reward in return for my services. Instead, my compensation will be a sense of satisfaction gained by providing Ms Lee with flawless service and pleasure. My desperate need to please Ms Lee insures that I will work longer and harder than any normal servant, my only rest coming during the short hours that I am allowed to sleep before rising early to begin my toils again.

An example of the level of detail and services involved in being a butler is that provided by a valet. Valet services are just a subset of what a butler is responsible for. A valet is the closest male equivalent to a lady’s maid and is responsible to tend to their master’s every personal need from the moment the master rises from bed till the end of the evening when the master goes to bed. The valet is to always be by their master’s side, ready for instant service whenever the need arises, whether that be dressing after rising from bed or assistance in bathing, particularly in the case of a ‘lady’s maid’. A valet or lady’s maid must be skillful in all aspects of personal service including hair-dressing, dressmaking, packing, arranging the toilets for dinner parties, balls, etc.”

I have to admit that when considering all the aspects of service to Ms Lee I am most attracted to and excited by the idea of being her personal valet. I understand that many of my duties such as cleaning and laundry require working by myself but I thrive on providing pleasure to Ms Lee and strongly desire the positive feedback I would receive from my personal service to her. However the first priority is always Ms Lee’s satisfaction so I will have to get used to the fact that I will spend many hours toiling alone in her service. While doing so I will have to remind myself that I am toiling for her pleasure and my reward is knowing that my service makes her life easier and more pleasant.

In addition to the duties of a valet, a butler is also responsible for everything involved in taking care of the home of their master. This obviously involves all aspects of cleaning the home but also includes maintenance issues, organization of parties and events and anything else that might involve the needs of the master or the master’s home. A butler needs to be highly organized so that he stays on top of everything involved in running the home while keeping an even closer eye on the needs of their master.

Ms Lee also instructed me to research formal tea service since that will be an important part of my service to her. I had initially thought about tea service involving me serving tea to Ms Lee alone but I quickly found that formal tea service frequently involves serving not only my master (Ms Lee) but also a number of her guests. I have to admit that I feel my face turning red as I consider what those groups might involve, from groups of her girl friends to one of her boyfriends or even her husband if one day she was to marry. I am sure her boyfriend or husband would be well aware of the depths of my submission to Ms Lee but I suspect I would be highly embarrassed, wondering whether certain girl friends of her that I was serving tea knew that I was being kept in strict chastity and always wearing panties. It would be even worse if those in the know teased me in the presence of others who were not aware.

One of the first things I learned was that the formal afternoon tea service is actually called low tea, not high tea. High tea refers to tea at dinner while afternoon tea, which is more focused just on the tea service is called low tea because it is served at low coffee tables. A traditional low tea service begins with the delivery of invitations to the guests ahead of time. I’m not sure how often Ms Lee will require formal invitations but when she does that will involve yet another skill that I will have to master since the invitations must be professionally prepared (sometimes handwritten in calligraphy) and delivered with the proper formality. There are also formalities to be observed at the beginning of the tea service, for instance the introduction of a guest of honor.

A proper low tea service also involves a considerable amount of preparation regarding the accessories and the tea itself. Accessories include the teapot, cream and sugar bowls, a pitcher for hot water, a plate for lemon slices, plates for food/snacks, flatware, napkins and anything else required by the guests. The tea to be served is an involved topic all by itself, beyond the scope of this paper. Then there are the formalities and procedures for the preparation and serving of the tea. I was flabbergasted to learn just how involved and painstaking a formal tea service is. For instance, here is the formal way to stir a cup of tea:


Stirring a cup of tea is done gently and noiselessly by moving the teaspoon in a small arch back and forth in the center of the cup.

  • Do not allow the teaspoon to touch the sides or rim of the cup.
  • Remove the spoon and place it on the saucer behind the cup, with the handle of the spoon pointing in the same direction as the handle of the cup.
  • Visualize the face of a clock on the saucer and properly place the handle of the cup and the handle of the spoon at four on the clock.

Every step of formal tea service is just as exacting and requires extensive study and practice in order to carry it out properly. I will obviously be spending a considerable amount of time preparing for my first formal tea party for Ms Lee’s pleasure as I dare not embarrass her with substandard service. I may be posting a future entry focused just on formal tea service in order to give it the proper attention it deserves.

After studying formal butler and tea service for Ms Lee I have developed a deeper appreciation for what it means to be in the service of a wonderful person like Ms Lee. I sincerely want nothing more than to please her in every way and make her proud of the level of dedication my service to her involves. However I am concerned about the extensive effort I will have to commit to in order to become a suitable servant for her. The last thing I want is to become some embarrassing caricature of a sissy maid for her. I believe she assigned me to study butler and tea service so I would understand that she does not desire a male’s fantasy sissy maid. She desires, expects and deserves a true formal servant, a butler, valet, a man servant of whom she can be proud. My goal in life is to please Ms Lee and part of my mission will now clearly involve extensive study and practice in order to become a servant she can be proud of.

I am reminded again that I must focus on Ms Lee’s pleasure and not mine. I must become the servant she desires and not the one I fantasize about. This exercise of studying Butler and Tea service has helped me think this through and realize that neither Ms Lee nor I would be satisfied with my service if it only pandered to my fantasies. She and I will only realize the true fulfillment of my destiny as her devoted servant if I learn how to become a true life servant and stop playing with fantasy.

I have already begun to apply my learnings to my daily life. I am mindful of my ultimate destiny as Ms Lee’s servant as I go about my daily life, particularly when doing anything that involves housework or cooking. I have been more careful to study proper techniques, and more dedicated to doing quality work. I also have to admit that it has been very motivating to think about my present efforts contributing to my being better prepared for one day pleasing Ms Lee with my professional level service.

My Awesome Christmas presents from Ms Lee

January 3, 2016
For Christmas this year I bought Ms Lee a wonderful spa package so she could indulge in being properly pampered and massaged. For myself, I humbly asked her if I could indulge in my ever growing fetish for pretty lingerie and buy myself a nice babydoll nightie. I told her I would never be so bold as to ask for anything so naughty as being allowed to touch myself or masturbate, but I desperately hoped that once a year she might allow me to pursue my own sexual pleasure in an acceptable manner. I was thrilled when she agreed to let me purchase a nightie. I presented some choices to her and interestingly enough she selected the purple babydoll that was my favorite among the selections.

Ms Lee also surprised me by allowing me to not only wear my babydoll nightie on Christmas Eve and day, but she also gave me permission to enjoy all the pleasurable releases I desired on Christmas. This was an incredibly generous gift from Ms Lee since she very rarely allows me such sexual freedom. I frequently go multiple months without being allowed a release at all and when it does suite her whim to allow me a release I am usually given a small window of time to enjoy it. And even when she does allow me a release it might amuse her to insist that it be a ruined release so that my sexual pleasure is minimized. This might seem harsh, but I have been trained to treasure the rare releases she allows me, in whatever manner pleases Ms Lee most. The strict regime of chastity I endure has bound me quite closely to her, something we both appreciate, and I am thankful that it pleases Me Lee to keep me as her property. Ms Lee also instructed me that I am to always wear my new babydoll nightie whenever she allows me a release. That will certainly insure that I will not feel very manly on those rare occasions when I enjoy a release.

I have included a photo of me wearing my new babydoll nightie. I am embarrassed to admit that I took the time and effort to learn how to properly iron my babydoll since it was wrinkled when it arrived. I have added a link on How to properly iron lingerie to the Service Skills section of my blog since this is a skill that I will need to master.
Babydoll Nightie

I am quite excited about the new year and I am looking forward to working extra hard for the pleasure of Ms Lee. She has been very generous and patient with me and I desperately want to demonstrate my appreciation. I am also quite excited about the lifelong education program I have embarked upon, with the goal of becoming the best possible service submissive devoted to Ms Lee’s pleasure.

Service Skills and Research

December 20, 2015
As I conducted the research for my recent Service Oriented Submission blog entry I learned a lot about myself. It quickly became clear that I closely match the definition of a service oriented submissive and my research into this topic not only oped my eyes concerning my service orientation but it also motivated me to become very interested in learning how to become a better servant for Ms Lee. It is not good enough to devote myself completely to her pleasure and satisfaction. I must also devote myself to becoming well educated in all manners of service skills.

I want to sincerely thank Ms Lee for directing me to research Service Oriented Submission. She saw something in me that I did not fully understand myself. I am very fortunate to be her property and to be blessed with her excellent guidance.
I am embarking on what I suspect will be a lifelong learning program with the goal of becoming the best possible servant for Ms Lee. I must improve the service skills I posses and perhaps more importantly learn many new skills in the service arts. Ms Lee has told me to begin by studying Butler and tea service so these are two areas I will start with. But there are many other skills such as giving pedicures and massages that I need to become proficient with. Frankly the list is endless, including cooking and mundane things such as laundry care and proper cleaning methods.

To help me organize my studies I have added a Service Skills and Research area to my blog. Right now it is just a skeleton but I will constantly add to it and enhance it as my studies continue. The link to this section can be found in the Pages section in the top right section of my blog. Here is a link to that section:

Service Oriented Submission

December 13, 2015

I have only recently become aware of the term “service oriented submission” but the more I learn about it the more I realize that it perfectly describes the type of submissive I am. Whenever I fantasize about or express my submissive tendencies I find myself drawn to thoughts of serving and pleasing my dominant partner. I have come to realize that my desire to please another is stronger than my desire to satisfy my own need for gratification. Even when I feel a desire to experience a submissive experience such as being disciplined or embarrassed I find myself needing my submission to please another in order for me to feel fulfilled. It was only when I became aware of the concept of service oriented submission that I fully realized how my need to please another drives my need for submission.

I have come across a variety of definitions of service oriented submission, for instance “A person who enjoys performing a service in a sexual or BDSM environment.”. It has also been described as “A person who derives pleasure and enjoyment from performing acts of service for another person.” I think a better description is provided by Ms. Rika, author of Uniquely Rita who says “A service-oriented dynamic is Dominant-centric. It’s not focused on what is done TO the sub, but rather on what the sub does FOR the Dominant.” She goes on to explain “Obviously, the biggest differences are that the commitment to serve is not time-bound and the activities are more oriented to service than to fetish. This is not to say fetishtic and BDSM activities do not take place, but they are not predicated by the nature of the D/s agreement.

As Ms Rita suggested, sexual service devoted to pleasing the dominant is just a part of the overall service provided. It is provided in order to complete the overall level of service but it is not the primary focus. In fact the submissive must use careful judgement and only initiate sexual service when it is clear that the dominant desires or is in the mood for sexual service. The goal is to please the dominant and make their life complete, sexual activity is only included when appropriate to make the dominant’s pleasurable life complete.

It is equally important that the submissive never expect any sexual gratification in reward for their service. The only reward the submissive expects and deserves is the pleasure and satisfaction that the dominant receives from the service provided. A smile or expression of pleasure from the dominant is the ultimate reward that the submissive seeks.

This is not to say that sexuality does not play a significant role in service oriented submission, the point is just that it is not the core concept. Service to the dominant is the core concept but sexuality can significantly enhance the experience for both the dominant and the submissive. For the dominant, sex play can become solely oriented on their own pleasure and satisfaction with no need to pander to the submissive’s sexual desires. The dominant can relax and concentrate on enjoying their own sexual pleasure without having to worry about satisfying someone else’s needs.

Sexual expression for a service oriented submissive is quite different and from my perspective serves two significant purposes. The first involves chastity and denial of sexual pleasure for the submissive. The purpose of chastity is to bind the submissive to the dominant, making the submissive dependent on the dominant for any opportunities of enjoying sexual pleasure. Being kept in prolonged chastity and denial will certainly focus the submissive on the desires of their dominant partner. I am aware that being kept in chastity, with no knowledge of when I might be allowed a release is a major motivator for me to provide excellent service.

The second purpose a service oriented submissive’s sexual expression serves is to provide a source of power and amusement to the dominant, allowing them to own the sexuality of the submissive for their own gratification. It naturally follows that the submissive would never expect or request their own sexual pleasure. Sex for the submissive revolves solely around the pleasure of the dominant. Whenever the submissive feels a sexual urge they will express it by taking action to sexually please the dominant, but only if they are certain the dominant is in the mood for sexual play.

I found Ms Rita’s explanation quite enlightening and it helped me understand that devotion to service is the primary driver for a service oriented submissive. Service oriented submission goes far beyond the usual sexual d&s relationship. It absolutely includes non-sexual service devoted to a dominant without necessarily including traditional d&s trappings. A service oriented submissive will tend to household chores and other tasks that benefit the dominant without requiring any sexual overtones or direct supervision from the dominant. The service oriented submissive is devoted full time to the service of the dominant.

It is important to note that service oriented submission is not just a one way relationship. One submissive expressed this aspect of service oriented submission very well when they said “I am not offering a free service. I am offering service with care and devotion. In order for me to care about your task to the fullest of my ability, you need to care about me.”

A BDSM fetish that is not absolutely required as part of service oriented submission is physical discipline. Some submissives (and dominants) have a deep need for physical discipline such as spanking and caning but others may have no need or desire for it. I know that have a fetish/kink for being disciplined and that I would be better motivated and fulfilled if my service involved the knowledge that I would be punished for the smallest shortcomings. And perversely, I would also be motivated if I knew I would receive a “reward punishment” for good service.

As I think about how I envision myself in an ideal service oriented submissive role I find myself drawn to the stereotype of a 50’s era housewife, whose life is devoted solely to the gratification and pleasure of her dominant spouse. While many people today are repulsed by the degradation of women that routinely occurred in those situations I can see how a suitably submissive ‘wife’ could find fulfillment in devoting herself without reservation to the service of her spouse. I can understand how a typical 50’s era ‘wife’ appreciated the submissive joy of focusing on nothing but the pleasure and satisfaction of their spouse and gladly assumed responsibility for all the household chores. the 50’s era ‘wife’ would wake early every day, long before her spouse and happily toil away knowing that her reward at the end of the day would be a sense of accomplishment, having completed her household chores.

I think it was this revelation about how a typical 50’s era housewife could find happy fulfillment in her role as a submissive spouse that made me realize that I was what I now know is called a service oriented submissive. I find genuine pleasure and satisfaction in completing the household chores that I have found myself responsible for. I feel quite natural in the role of a ‘housewife’ taking care of my home and knowing that I am a service oriented submissive will help me find fulfillment in my life.