Butler and Tea Service

February 10, 2016

As a follow up to my research on Service Oriented Submission Ms Lee directed me to study Butler and Tea service. Most of the information I was able to find on butler service focused on formal English butlers which was appropriate since formal tea service is also frequently associated with the English. Once again I was astonished at how much detail and specialization was involved. It is apparent that a good deal of study and training would be involved in order to become properly proficient at Butler and Tea service. Combined with studying how to provide professional quality massages and pedicures along with learning how to cook, clean, sew and perform housework at the level expected of a 1950’s style housewife I expect my studies will require a level of effort similar to that I devoted to obtaining my master’s degree. And not just for a few years, but for the rest of my life.

I was curious why Ms Lee did not suggest that I study formal maid service since I have frequently fantasized about being a sissy french maid in her service. As I studied formal butler service I found it quite embarrassing to face the concept that a successful professional such as myself with a masters degree would willingly serve as a menial butler, having to adhere to strict protocols and toil endlessly all day long. Fantasizing about being a sissy french maid provided me with a perverted sexual thrill that made it easy and in fact pleasing to think about. However, contemplating being a formal male butler removed the thrill of the fantasy for me and forced me to focus on the service I was to provide to Ms Lee. I had to think about the benefits and pleasure I would be providing to Ms Lee which is the whole point of my devotion to her. I should not be concerned about what I might be getting out of my service, in fact that would only distract me from providing the flawless service that is required from me. During the course of my research I came across a blog by a lifestyle mistress who wanted a butler submissive instead of a sissy maid for the exact same reason.

Recently the number of people who desire to have butlers has increased greatly. In the early to mid 20th century the employment of formal english type butlers had decreased dramatically but during the past few decades their numbers have increased once again as the number of millionaires and billionaires increased markedly. In larger households the butler holds the formal position of head of all the household servants but in smaller households he may be the sole servant. In either case the butler is responsible for being knowledgeable of high social etiquette and protocol regarding every facet of household care and personal service.

I was fascinated to learn that there are a number of world class butler schools in existence such as The British Butler Guild, the Butler Bureau, the British Butler Institute and the Bespoke Bureau. These schools provide training in all areas of butler service including British Etiquette & Accent, Service & Table Management, Silver Service, Housekeeping, Mixology, Professional Cooking, Pastry Chef, Laundry Care, Valet Service, Chauffeur, Flower Design and Gardening, Coffee (and of course Tea!) Service, Shoe Care, Concierge Lifestyle Management and many other special skills required to be a full service servant.

Being a professional butler clearly requires a graduate school level of training and many butlers earn a commensurate salary. They become invaluable members of the household which would collapse without their skills and knowledge. Of course as the Property of Ms Lee I will not be receiving any monetary reward in return for my services. Instead, my compensation will be a sense of satisfaction gained by providing Ms Lee with flawless service and pleasure. My desperate need to please Ms Lee insures that I will work longer and harder than any normal servant, my only rest coming during the short hours that I am allowed to sleep before rising early to begin my toils again.

An example of the level of detail and services involved in being a butler is that provided by a valet. Valet services are just a subset of what a butler is responsible for. A valet is the closest male equivalent to a lady’s maid and is responsible to tend to their master’s every personal need from the moment the master rises from bed till the end of the evening when the master goes to bed. The valet is to always be by their master’s side, ready for instant service whenever the need arises, whether that be dressing after rising from bed or assistance in bathing, particularly in the case of a ‘lady’s maid’. A valet or lady’s maid must be skillful in all aspects of personal service including hair-dressing, dressmaking, packing, arranging the toilets for dinner parties, balls, etc.”

I have to admit that when considering all the aspects of service to Ms Lee I am most attracted to and excited by the idea of being her personal valet. I understand that many of my duties such as cleaning and laundry require working by myself but I thrive on providing pleasure to Ms Lee and strongly desire the positive feedback I would receive from my personal service to her. However the first priority is always Ms Lee’s satisfaction so I will have to get used to the fact that I will spend many hours toiling alone in her service. While doing so I will have to remind myself that I am toiling for her pleasure and my reward is knowing that my service makes her life easier and more pleasant.

In addition to the duties of a valet, a butler is also responsible for everything involved in taking care of the home of their master. This obviously involves all aspects of cleaning the home but also includes maintenance issues, organization of parties and events and anything else that might involve the needs of the master or the master’s home. A butler needs to be highly organized so that he stays on top of everything involved in running the home while keeping an even closer eye on the needs of their master.

Ms Lee also instructed me to research formal tea service since that will be an important part of my service to her. I had initially thought about tea service involving me serving tea to Ms Lee alone but I quickly found that formal tea service frequently involves serving not only my master (Ms Lee) but also a number of her guests. I have to admit that I feel my face turning red as I consider what those groups might involve, from groups of her girl friends to one of her boyfriends or even her husband if one day she was to marry. I am sure her boyfriend or husband would be well aware of the depths of my submission to Ms Lee but I suspect I would be highly embarrassed, wondering whether certain girl friends of her that I was serving tea knew that I was being kept in strict chastity and always wearing panties. It would be even worse if those in the know teased me in the presence of others who were not aware.

One of the first things I learned was that the formal afternoon tea service is actually called low tea, not high tea. High tea refers to tea at dinner while afternoon tea, which is more focused just on the tea service is called low tea because it is served at low coffee tables. A traditional low tea service begins with the delivery of invitations to the guests ahead of time. I’m not sure how often Ms Lee will require formal invitations but when she does that will involve yet another skill that I will have to master since the invitations must be professionally prepared (sometimes handwritten in calligraphy) and delivered with the proper formality. There are also formalities to be observed at the beginning of the tea service, for instance the introduction of a guest of honor.

A proper low tea service also involves a considerable amount of preparation regarding the accessories and the tea itself. Accessories include the teapot, cream and sugar bowls, a pitcher for hot water, a plate for lemon slices, plates for food/snacks, flatware, napkins and anything else required by the guests. The tea to be served is an involved topic all by itself, beyond the scope of this paper. Then there are the formalities and procedures for the preparation and serving of the tea. I was flabbergasted to learn just how involved and painstaking a formal tea service is. For instance, here is the formal way to stir a cup of tea:


Stirring a cup of tea is done gently and noiselessly by moving the teaspoon in a small arch back and forth in the center of the cup.

  • Do not allow the teaspoon to touch the sides or rim of the cup.
  • Remove the spoon and place it on the saucer behind the cup, with the handle of the spoon pointing in the same direction as the handle of the cup.
  • Visualize the face of a clock on the saucer and properly place the handle of the cup and the handle of the spoon at four on the clock.

Every step of formal tea service is just as exacting and requires extensive study and practice in order to carry it out properly. I will obviously be spending a considerable amount of time preparing for my first formal tea party for Ms Lee’s pleasure as I dare not embarrass her with substandard service. I may be posting a future entry focused just on formal tea service in order to give it the proper attention it deserves.

After studying formal butler and tea service for Ms Lee I have developed a deeper appreciation for what it means to be in the service of a wonderful person like Ms Lee. I sincerely want nothing more than to please her in every way and make her proud of the level of dedication my service to her involves. However I am concerned about the extensive effort I will have to commit to in order to become a suitable servant for her. The last thing I want is to become some embarrassing caricature of a sissy maid for her. I believe she assigned me to study butler and tea service so I would understand that she does not desire a male’s fantasy sissy maid. She desires, expects and deserves a true formal servant, a butler, valet, a man servant of whom she can be proud. My goal in life is to please Ms Lee and part of my mission will now clearly involve extensive study and practice in order to become a servant she can be proud of.

I am reminded again that I must focus on Ms Lee’s pleasure and not mine. I must become the servant she desires and not the one I fantasize about. This exercise of studying Butler and Tea service has helped me think this through and realize that neither Ms Lee nor I would be satisfied with my service if it only pandered to my fantasies. She and I will only realize the true fulfillment of my destiny as her devoted servant if I learn how to become a true life servant and stop playing with fantasy.

I have already begun to apply my learnings to my daily life. I am mindful of my ultimate destiny as Ms Lee’s servant as I go about my daily life, particularly when doing anything that involves housework or cooking. I have been more careful to study proper techniques, and more dedicated to doing quality work. I also have to admit that it has been very motivating to think about my present efforts contributing to my being better prepared for one day pleasing Ms Lee with my professional level service.

Ms Lee Considers Marriage

January 28, 2016

Recently Ms Lee has informed me that if someday she were to marry a lucky man my own status would not change. I would still be her property and I would still be required to serve as her personal servant and butler. As her servant I would be responsible for providing her with massages and pedicures, attending to her when she was dressing or bathing and also providing sexual service in whatever manner she required. She also informed me that I would be responsible for recruiting other subs or bulls or even couples for her and her husband to play with. With all these real men at her disposal I suspect that my deprived penis would remain securely locked in chastity whenever I was lucky enough to be allowed to sexually service her (She did inform me that my penis would be in locked chastity at all times).

I have been having a difficult time wrapping my head around the implications of all this. I absolutely support the idea of Ms Lee being happily married, hopefully to a well endowed alpha male who could sexually please her like a real man (something I know I am incapable of doing). But even though Ms Lee has told me I would not have to service her husband sexually I still struggle with the idea that I have to serve him in non-sexual ways. Obviously he would be my superior and I would have to get used to the idea that I would be his servant also, taking care of all domestic matters for him as well as anything else he required that did not involve sexual service.

I find the idea of being the butler and servant of a man who is free to enjoy Ms Lee’s affections in every way quite intimidating. The thought of being required to perform menial tasks for him such as shining his shoes seems very demeaning. Supported with my fantasies about being a sissy maid, it is easy to imagine being Ms Lee’s servant, toiling for her pleasure. But it is a very different matter to consider doing so for another man. I have no homosexual tendencies so I am in no way attracted to other men or turned on by thoughts of serving them. The concept of being required to serve Ms Lee’s husband rips open the reality of my submission to Ms Lee, forcing me to face the raw consequences of willingly being an indentured servant.

The more I think about the implications of being the servant to Ms Lee and her husband the more challenging I find the concept. For instance, with a happily married couple in the house I suspect I would spend a sizable portion of my time toiling alone, working hard to keep up with a busy household with two masters to serve. Keeping Ms Lee satisfied and taking care of all her domestic matters would be challenging enough, but with a real man in the house to also serve I would have to work twice as hard to keep up with everything. I would also have two sets of eyes watching out for any failings on my part so I would have to work harder yet to make sure my services were satisfactory. And instead of being Ms Lee’s sole source of interaction and company I would just be the servant in the background, constantly working hard in the hope that she might briefly turn her attention away from her husband and notice my desperate devotion.

Then last night as I was looking out at the snow I was thinking how nice it would be to curl up with Ms Lee by the fireplace. But it occurred to me that if she were married she would probably more often be curling up with her husband and not me. They would be in love with each other so it would only be natural that romantic events like that would involve the two of them. In a situation like that I’m not sure if it would be harder for me to be excluded or if it would be more difficult to be involved, but as the servant to the two of them. Ms Lee assures me that she would continue to provide me with affection and personal contact. I find this very reassuring but I can’t stop thinking that her affection for me would become more like that one would bestow upon their favorite dog. Her true love would be her real man and husband while I would constantly be begging just to be noticed and hoping that she might rub my head.

All of this just really hammers home the point that I am really nothing other than Ms Lee’s property, required to do whatever she desires. I find this all quite disturbing and the only way I can find to manage it is to remind myself that my responsibility is to always focus on nothing but Ms Lee’s pleasure and satisfaction, with no regard for my own pigmale desires. Our relationship is based on her happiness and satisfaction, enhanced by my willing submission to her and my sacrifices for her pleasure. I must firmly push all thoughts of self gratification out of my mind as they only distract me from my higher purpose in life – Ms Lee’s happiness. I have to acknowledge that this is what I truly desire out of life and I am truly grateful that Ms Lee would consider keeping me as her property in the happy event of her marriage.

My Awesome Christmas presents from Ms Lee

January 3, 2016
For Christmas this year I bought Ms Lee a wonderful spa package so she could indulge in being properly pampered and massaged. For myself, I humbly asked her if I could indulge in my ever growing fetish for pretty lingerie and buy myself a nice babydoll nightie. I told her I would never be so bold as to ask for anything so naughty as being allowed to touch myself or masturbate, but I desperately hoped that once a year she might allow me to pursue my own sexual pleasure in an acceptable manner. I was thrilled when she agreed to let me purchase a nightie. I presented some choices to her and interestingly enough she selected the purple babydoll that was my favorite among the selections.

Ms Lee also surprised me by allowing me to not only wear my babydoll nightie on Christmas Eve and day, but she also gave me permission to enjoy all the pleasurable releases I desired on Christmas. This was an incredibly generous gift from Ms Lee since she very rarely allows me such sexual freedom. I frequently go multiple months without being allowed a release at all and when it does suite her whim to allow me a release I am usually given a small window of time to enjoy it. And even when she does allow me a release it might amuse her to insist that it be a ruined release so that my sexual pleasure is minimized. This might seem harsh, but I have been trained to treasure the rare releases she allows me, in whatever manner pleases Ms Lee most. The strict regime of chastity I endure has bound me quite closely to her, something we both appreciate, and I am thankful that it pleases Me Lee to keep me as her property. Ms Lee also instructed me that I am to always wear my new babydoll nightie whenever she allows me a release. That will certainly insure that I will not feel very manly on those rare occasions when I enjoy a release.

I have included a photo of me wearing my new babydoll nightie. I am embarrassed to admit that I took the time and effort to learn how to properly iron my babydoll since it was wrinkled when it arrived. I have added a link on How to properly iron lingerie to the Service Skills section of my blog since this is a skill that I will need to master.
Babydoll Nightie

I am quite excited about the new year and I am looking forward to working extra hard for the pleasure of Ms Lee. She has been very generous and patient with me and I desperately want to demonstrate my appreciation. I am also quite excited about the lifelong education program I have embarked upon, with the goal of becoming the best possible service submissive devoted to Ms Lee’s pleasure.

Service Skills and Research

December 20, 2015
As I conducted the research for my recent Service Oriented Submission blog entry I learned a lot about myself. It quickly became clear that I closely match the definition of a service oriented submissive and my research into this topic not only oped my eyes concerning my service orientation but it also motivated me to become very interested in learning how to become a better servant for Ms Lee. It is not good enough to devote myself completely to her pleasure and satisfaction. I must also devote myself to becoming well educated in all manners of service skills.

I want to sincerely thank Ms Lee for directing me to research Service Oriented Submission. She saw something in me that I did not fully understand myself. I am very fortunate to be her property and to be blessed with her excellent guidance.
I am embarking on what I suspect will be a lifelong learning program with the goal of becoming the best possible servant for Ms Lee. I must improve the service skills I posses and perhaps more importantly learn many new skills in the service arts. Ms Lee has told me to begin by studying Butler and tea service so these are two areas I will start with. But there are many other skills such as giving pedicures and massages that I need to become proficient with. Frankly the list is endless, including cooking and mundane things such as laundry care and proper cleaning methods.

To help me organize my studies I have added a Service Skills and Research area to my blog. Right now it is just a skeleton but I will constantly add to it and enhance it as my studies continue. The link to this section can be found in the Pages section in the top right section of my blog. Here is a link to that section:

Service Oriented Submission

December 13, 2015

I have only recently become aware of the term “service oriented submission” but the more I learn about it the more I realize that it perfectly describes the type of submissive I am. Whenever I fantasize about or express my submissive tendencies I find myself drawn to thoughts of serving and pleasing my dominant partner. I have come to realize that my desire to please another is stronger than my desire to satisfy my own need for gratification. Even when I feel a desire to experience a submissive experience such as being disciplined or embarrassed I find myself needing my submission to please another in order for me to feel fulfilled. It was only when I became aware of the concept of service oriented submission that I fully realized how my need to please another drives my need for submission.

I have come across a variety of definitions of service oriented submission, for instance “A person who enjoys performing a service in a sexual or BDSM environment.”. It has also been described as “A person who derives pleasure and enjoyment from performing acts of service for another person.” I think a better description is provided by Ms. Rika, author of Uniquely Rita who says “A service-oriented dynamic is Dominant-centric. It’s not focused on what is done TO the sub, but rather on what the sub does FOR the Dominant.” She goes on to explain “Obviously, the biggest differences are that the commitment to serve is not time-bound and the activities are more oriented to service than to fetish. This is not to say fetishtic and BDSM activities do not take place, but they are not predicated by the nature of the D/s agreement.

As Ms Rita suggested, sexual service devoted to pleasing the dominant is just a part of the overall service provided. It is provided in order to complete the overall level of service but it is not the primary focus. In fact the submissive must use careful judgement and only initiate sexual service when it is clear that the dominant desires or is in the mood for sexual service. The goal is to please the dominant and make their life complete, sexual activity is only included when appropriate to make the dominant’s pleasurable life complete.

It is equally important that the submissive never expect any sexual gratification in reward for their service. The only reward the submissive expects and deserves is the pleasure and satisfaction that the dominant receives from the service provided. A smile or expression of pleasure from the dominant is the ultimate reward that the submissive seeks.

This is not to say that sexuality does not play a significant role in service oriented submission, the point is just that it is not the core concept. Service to the dominant is the core concept but sexuality can significantly enhance the experience for both the dominant and the submissive. For the dominant, sex play can become solely oriented on their own pleasure and satisfaction with no need to pander to the submissive’s sexual desires. The dominant can relax and concentrate on enjoying their own sexual pleasure without having to worry about satisfying someone else’s needs.

Sexual expression for a service oriented submissive is quite different and from my perspective serves two significant purposes. The first involves chastity and denial of sexual pleasure for the submissive. The purpose of chastity is to bind the submissive to the dominant, making the submissive dependent on the dominant for any opportunities of enjoying sexual pleasure. Being kept in prolonged chastity and denial will certainly focus the submissive on the desires of their dominant partner. I am aware that being kept in chastity, with no knowledge of when I might be allowed a release is a major motivator for me to provide excellent service.

The second purpose a service oriented submissive’s sexual expression serves is to provide a source of power and amusement to the dominant, allowing them to own the sexuality of the submissive for their own gratification. It naturally follows that the submissive would never expect or request their own sexual pleasure. Sex for the submissive revolves solely around the pleasure of the dominant. Whenever the submissive feels a sexual urge they will express it by taking action to sexually please the dominant, but only if they are certain the dominant is in the mood for sexual play.

I found Ms Rita’s explanation quite enlightening and it helped me understand that devotion to service is the primary driver for a service oriented submissive. Service oriented submission goes far beyond the usual sexual d&s relationship. It absolutely includes non-sexual service devoted to a dominant without necessarily including traditional d&s trappings. A service oriented submissive will tend to household chores and other tasks that benefit the dominant without requiring any sexual overtones or direct supervision from the dominant. The service oriented submissive is devoted full time to the service of the dominant.

It is important to note that service oriented submission is not just a one way relationship. One submissive expressed this aspect of service oriented submission very well when they said “I am not offering a free service. I am offering service with care and devotion. In order for me to care about your task to the fullest of my ability, you need to care about me.”

A BDSM fetish that is not absolutely required as part of service oriented submission is physical discipline. Some submissives (and dominants) have a deep need for physical discipline such as spanking and caning but others may have no need or desire for it. I know that have a fetish/kink for being disciplined and that I would be better motivated and fulfilled if my service involved the knowledge that I would be punished for the smallest shortcomings. And perversely, I would also be motivated if I knew I would receive a “reward punishment” for good service.

As I think about how I envision myself in an ideal service oriented submissive role I find myself drawn to the stereotype of a 50’s era housewife, whose life is devoted solely to the gratification and pleasure of her dominant spouse. While many people today are repulsed by the degradation of women that routinely occurred in those situations I can see how a suitably submissive ‘wife’ could find fulfillment in devoting herself without reservation to the service of her spouse. I can understand how a typical 50’s era ‘wife’ appreciated the submissive joy of focusing on nothing but the pleasure and satisfaction of their spouse and gladly assumed responsibility for all the household chores. the 50’s era ‘wife’ would wake early every day, long before her spouse and happily toil away knowing that her reward at the end of the day would be a sense of accomplishment, having completed her household chores.

I think it was this revelation about how a typical 50’s era housewife could find happy fulfillment in her role as a submissive spouse that made me realize that I was what I now know is called a service oriented submissive. I find genuine pleasure and satisfaction in completing the household chores that I have found myself responsible for. I feel quite natural in the role of a ‘housewife’ taking care of my home and knowing that I am a service oriented submissive will help me find fulfillment in my life.

Still Practicing

September 8, 2015

It has been a month since my last release and I still haven’t had any success with milking myself. I am getting quite frustrated and desperate however and that seems to really be helping me get closer to achieving my goal. One of my problems is that things have been fairly hectic in my life lately, which happens too often. As a result I have not been relaxed enough to truly enjoy my milking practice sessions and really get into it.

One good thing is that I have begun to truly enjoy my milking sessions, enough so that I no longer miss masturbating so much. Pleasuring myself anally is nowhere near as intense and quick as masturbation but it provides a different, more lasting type of pleasure. I actually appreciate this quite a bit since I was not able to hold back for long on the infrequent occasions when Ms Lee allowed me to touch myself. I think that my years of extended chastity have ruined my staying power.

While my goal is to learn how to milk myself without touching myself I am also learning to enjoy anal pleasure for its own sake even without producing anything. I like the feeling of my dildo massaging my prostate and I enjoy the pleasure of filling my greedy rear and ramming my dildo in and out. I am learning how to appreciate a very different sex life than that enjoyed by a ‘real’ man but it seems appropriate for me as the property of Ms Lee.

Male Milking and the Benefits for a Submissive

August 29, 2015

Ms Lee currently has me committed to the goal of learning how to milk myself anally. She wants me to become proficient enough to be able to milk myself solely from stimulating my prostate without touching my genitals at all. Me Lee has tried to have me learn how to milk myself before but this time it is obvious that she is serious and will not relent until I succeed. For my part I am determined to learn how to milk myself for two main reasons.

First and foremost I am determined to learn how to milk myself because it will please Ms Lee. Over the course of the last few months since she took me back as her property I have become ever more submissive to her and I am more desperate than ever to please her. It is clear that Ms Lee sees this as a major step in my journey as her property and I am anxious to go down this path. The other reason I am interested in learning how to milk myself is to eradicate the pigmale inside me. My pigmale urges continue to distract me from focusing on Ms Lee’s pleasure and have gotten me in trouble when I have bothered her with my concerns about when I might be allowed a pleasurable release. I was quite distraught when this occurred because I am truly interested only in her pleasure but sometimes my pigmale urges get the better of me. I am hopeful that when I learn how to milk myself that my pigmale urges will cease to distract me.

There are two main parts to my program of learning how to milk myself. The first is to search the web for information on how to milk myself. There is a wealth of information available about prostate milking including many excellent videos as well as tutorials and blogs. The second part of my program involves my practice sessions when I actually try to milk myself. I have two anal dildos that I have been using in my practice and I am also interested in purchasing an Aneros anal dildo which is specifically designed to enable prostate milking. Here is the link to the Aneros dildo I am interested in:

One of the first things I learned about prostate milking is that long term chastity is necessary in order to ‘prime the pump’. I have learned this from my readings as well as my own personal experience. Prostate milking is nowhere near as intense as masturbation using your hands or actual sexual intercourse. Stimulation of the prostate is pleasant, but requires the desperate need generated by long term chastity to enable successful milking. I have voluntary given up my weekly opportunities to beg for permission to milk myself since it is recommended that a male be in chastity for a month or two before prostate milking becomes easy to achieve. I expect that once I become proficient at milking myself that long term chastity may not be required but for now I think it is absolutely necessary.

Another important thing I have learned about prostate milking is that it can’t be rushed. Masturbation using your hands can be accomplished in as little as a minute and I must confess that I rarely last much longer. Long term chastity and denial have ruined my ability to hold back and on the rare occasions when have been allowed a pleasurable release I have been embarrassed at how quickly I release. But prostate massage is very different. It can take five to ten minutes just to get really warmed up. Even then you can’t just force a release, it must be coaxed with patience and persistence.

I begin my anal milking practice sessions by getting comfortable, taking off all clothing except my panties. I then get into position lying on my back with my legs slightly spread. I then take my well lubricated anal dildo and slowly begin inserting it into my greedy rear. As I do so I meditate about Ms Lee and my submission to her. This helps to get me into the proper state of mind. I approach my attempts at milking myself in a relaxed manner, unlike pigmale masturbation which is a rapid, frantic race to ejaculation.

As my anal dildo slides further into my rear I gently press it upwards towards my prostate. Both of my anal dildos vibrate, producing a pleasurable feeling as I massage my prostate. The pleasurable feeling I experience builds up slowly and never reaches the heights of intense pleasure that I used to enjoy when masturbating. It takes a long time but gradually I get warmed up and begin rocking about as my dildo teases my prostate. My movements become more frenzied as I slide my dildo in and out.

As I thrust my dildo in and out of my desperate rear I usually find myself thinking about being taken by Ms Lee’s strap on. I find a perverse pleasure in experiencing sex like a female, desperately thrusting my hips as I attempt to pull the dildo deeper into my ass. I gradually build up my tempo and soon I am gyrating like mad, ramming my prostate against my anal dildo. I keep this up for 10 or 20 minutes until I collapse in exhaustion and frustration. I am hopeful that as my time in chastity increases I will be able to succeed in milking myself but so far I have been not been able to do so.

Although I have not yet succeeded in becoming proficient at milking myself I have already begun to appreciate the benefits of male milking. One important benefit is that I now have an effective and acceptable way to channel my pigmale desire for sexual relief and pleasure. When I begin to feel desperate for sexual stimulation I no longer think about touching myself and masturbating, instead I respond by finding an opportunity to practice milking myself. I think this is part of a rewiring process that is going on inside of me where my pleasure center is migrating from my penis to my anus. When I think about this I realize that Ms Lee had provided me a way to avoid the feelings of guilt that I experience when I am tempted to touch myself for sexual pleasure. I know that she is deeply disappointed in me when I express an interest in touching my penis for pleasure but I am also aware that she enjoys seeing me pursue my relief via milking of my prostate.

I know that Ms Lee will be pleased if master male milking as my primary and possibly sole method of sexual release. I suspect it will amuse her to have eradicated my penis as a pleasure organ, permanently rewiring me so that anal sex is the only sex life for me. I will no longer enjoy the explosive sexual release that comes from touching myself and masturbating but I hopefully will get relief from the desire for such pleasure. If I can please Ms Lee and avoid the pigmale temptation to touch myself I will be thrilled. These are major benefits that I believe will make me a much better submissive for Ms Lee.

Resource links:


My Ten Commandments

August 16, 2015

As Ms Lee has tightened her ownership of me an extensive list of her expectations has developed. I take these expectations very seriously as the consequences of failure are quite severe. I have earned the wrath of Ms Lee in the past for failing to live up to her strict expectations and the punishments she meted out are seared into my mind and cause me to scramble every day in a desperate attempt to please and satisfy her. I worship Ms Lee as my Goddess and her expectations are the ten commandments that form the focus of my daily life:

1) I am always to refrain from touching myself in a sexual manner without Ms Lee’s permission. My genitals are her property and are no longer available for my pigmale pleasures. I must beg Ms Lee for permission to touch myself, but only if she has given me permission to beg.

2) Every day I put my chastity sleeve on after taking my shower. It stays in place protecting Ms Lee’s property from any unauthorized touching or erections until I get ready for bed.

3) Every day I pick out a fresh pair of panties to wear, I no longer wear male underwear. I am also kept busy hand washing my panties on a regular basis, I would never dare present myself to Ms Lee in panties that were not in pristine condition

4) I must keep the area around my panties shaved and properly groomed at all times. There is never to be a single hair visible.

5) Every morning I conduct my morning worship session for about 15 minutes while properly plugged.

6) Every day without fail I make sure to contact Ms Lee in some way.

7) Every day I stretch during my exercise routine and meditate with Ms Lee as my focus.

8) On a weekly basis I post an update to the blog I maintain for Ms Lee.

9) On a monthly basis I send Ms Lee a monetary tribute as a demonstration of my devotion to her.

10) I apply myself to learning a variety of advanced study topics as determined by Ms Lee’s desires for my education and training so that I might better serve her. I am currently working on three areas of study:

A) I am learning how to provide professional quality pedicures accompanied by numerous pampering additions such as foot/leg messages along with the proper oils and lotions. I am searching out and studying web pages concerning how to give professional pedicures and I am also planning on getting a pedicure myself as soon as I find an opportunity sot that I will better understand the process.

B) I am learning how to milk myself anally, without touching myself. I am practicing this daily as well as searching out web pages with tips on milking yourself and proper tools. As I mentioned in my prior blog entry I suspect that Ms Lee has a substantial change in mind for my future ‘sex life’ once I master milking myself.

C) Self study – As time allows I am studying how best to please Ms Lee – what meals she likes, etc. I need to become on expert on pleasuring and satisfying Ms Lee

A new goal

August 11, 2015

During my last session of begging Ms Lee for permission to milk myself I mentioned that I felt tortured by the desperate desire to touch myself and I said that I thought I would be happier if she could completely eradicate the pigmale inside of me. She kindly agreed to help me and told me to learn how to milk myself through my prostate with out touching my penis or scrotum. She wants me to keep her appraised of my progress and let her know when I have reached the point where I can milk myself at will.

The very next day I began practicing to learn how to milk myself, using my ‘bigger tool’:
Learning to milk myself

Fortunately there are many websites with information on learning how to milk yourself such as these:
prostate milking
forbidden art of prostate milking
pleasure mechanics

I must admit that I have mixed feelings about this new goal that Ms Lee has set for me. On the one hand I am looking forward to having the pigmale inside of me eradicated or at least harnessed for Ms Lee’s purposes. I believe it will please her greatly when I have learned how to milk myself and I am always anxious to find ways to please Ms Lee. But I am also concerned about the changes in my ‘sex life’ that achievement of this goal will bring about.

Ms Lee has not stated exactly how learning to milk myself will result in the eradication of the pigmale in me but I suspect that my opportunities for touching myself will be strictly limited in the future, if not fully eradicated along with the pigmale in me. It is the pigmale in me that creates the maddeningly frustrating desire to touch myself so if the pigmale is eradicated will the desire to touch myself also be eliminated? I suspect that Ms Lee will allow me to milk myself frequently but I don’t know if that will completely eliminate the desire to touch myself. Even if the desire for a release is satiated by my milking I may still desire to touch myself for the sheer pleasure that stroking an erect penis brings.

Of course stroking an erect penis is the act of a real man and Ms Lee has made it clear that I am not a real man. I am her property and permission to touch her property is only granted at her whim, if it pleases her. It is quite possible that once I learn to milk myself Ms Lee may no longer see any need to allow me to touch her property. I can’t begin to imagine what it would be like to no longer touch myself at all, nor what it would be like to only experience a release by milking myself with no touching allowed. But if Ms Lee expects this to become my new ‘sex life’ then I will be anxious to please her regardless of how significant the changes to my sex life might be.

I am not entirely sure how this will all turn out and I don’t know if Ms Lee will come right out and tell me exactly what she expects. She frequently likes to let me sort things out for myself, probably because I learn better that way.

Advanced Study

August 3, 2015

As time goes on I have become more and more obsessed with the goal of pleasing and satisfying Ms Lee. I have learned that catering to my own greedy pigmale desires leads to nothing but selfish, fleeting moments of enjoyment but toiling for the pleasure of Ms Lee provides me with a deep sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. I have found that I am most satisfied when Ms Lee is pleased with my performance, I have become like a dog who craves its master’s approval above anything else. As a result my own desires and pleasure have become irrelevant, my focus is now solely on how I can better please Ms Lee and provide her with excellent service.

As my obsession with pleasing Ms Lee has grown I have found myself more carefully studying her preferences. At first I didn’t fully realize how serious my studies had become. In the past I had learned that she preferred live plants instead of cut flowers and I had spent considerable time learning how to clean her panties (https://propertyofmslee.wordpress.com/2013/02/18/ms-lees-panty-washing-boy/). But more recently I found myself considering going to formal classes to learn how to properly provide massages and pedicures. At first I will probably study on my own as I did with panty washing but eventually I am sure that I will be attending professional classes. I want to be able to provide Ms Lee with better service than she could receive at the finest spa.

My immediate priority is to learn how to provide a proper pedicure since Ms Lee’s feet are such a focus of mine. I hope to become good enough at giving pedicures to please Ms Lee and convince her that I would be capable of tending to her beautiful feet.

I am equally serious about learning how to prepare scrumptious meals for Ms Lee, prepared to her preferences and specifications. I am currently studying her facebook in order to learn what sort of food she likes and i suspect that food preparation classes are in my future also. I may not become a professional chef, but I do need to become proficient at preparing good tasting food that is pleasing in appearance and made to her liking.

More importantly it has occurred to me that I need to become expert at reading Ms Lee’s moods so I can better understand her desires without her needing to spell things out for me. I need to be able to tell when she is in the mood for sexual pleasure and when she would prefer non sexual pleasure such as a foot massage or other such service. I need to learn how to carefully observe her and tune into what she is in the mood for. To do this properly I need to put aside my own selfish interests and fully immerse myself in her personal world, focusing on nothing but her pleasure and satisfaction.

To have any hope of convincing Ms Lee that I am dedicated to her pleasure I need to become like a full time student focused on learning everything possible about what pleases or amuses her. I need to learn what she likes to eat and drink, what kind of music she likes and how she likes her home taken care of. I need to study her as if I was working on a masters degree. Once I had achieved that level of proficiency in pleasing and satisfying her I would then have to step things up and work on my doctorate. Even then I would not stop studying how to please her, my efforts will be a life long endeavor.